EDIT EDIT EDIT!!::

I recently posted up a group of kitty cat pictures that I recieved in an email. I did not know they were copy writed, but so far two have been *poofed* for this reason. I have taken them out of my gallery. If you want the pictures, leave me your email addresse, and I will send them to you. Still sent by email like I got them, just not shown on Da. Sorry for all of those out there who liked them. I tried to show something cute, but apparently I can't share stuff like this with you. I am still new at this. Once again, I'm sorry.



For those of you out there who don't want to hear something depressing or someone venting then feel free to ignore this journal entry.

My life has gone to crap. I want to say something before I tell you about what I initially wanted to write to you about. I haven't been on DA long, and there is still a lot I don't know. I recieved some pictures in an email, and I thought they were cute. I asked the guy who sent them if I could post them up here, and he said yes. So I did. I was in NO WAY trying to make money off them, or take credit for work that wasn't mine. I just loved them so much I thought others would like to see. THAT IS ALL!! I offered to give credit to whom ever they belonged to if they would just tell me. I have had one taken off, and possibly another. (which is the most loved by the way out of all of them) I found out that all it takes is someone "not liking it" to get something taken off DA. They don't even have to have basis for it. I understand trying to take something off if they were taking credit for it, or trying to do something illeagle like making money. But I'm not doing either!! Was I wrong to post these? I was just trying to share something nice with other people, but if I was wrong in doing this then I will never do it again......

Ok, this incident only added to the crap that has been happening in the last two days. I found out that one of my good friends is leaving a rp because of complications with the gm. She has good reason to leave, but I am sad to see her go. She is such a good role player with inventive ideas. The rp will be loosing one of it's best. My husband may be losing his job, but thank the Lord that this didn't happen. Found out today. Our car may be reposessed. I lost my job some months back, and money has been difficult to come by just for food. The new puppy that Jason brought home I had to give to my brother. His wife is an abuser, and I can't stand her. I didn't want her to have the dog, but everone else in my family was against me. Not to mention we didn't have the money. I came down with a fevor right after one of my closest friends of 5 years broke my heart (what I wanted to write about). Yeah, life for me SUCKS right now. *cries some more*

Now, I have a question. Have any of you out there ever had a friend that you just loved with all your heart? Someone that you such a strong friendship with that you thought that you could go through anything together? Now, has that friend hurt you over, and over, and over again? :sigh: Well, I have one such friend. I love very deeply mind you. Heart, body, and soul. It's just who I am. Spending time, effort, and energy into a person is like giving them a piece of yourself. Even if you aren't lovers type love, it's still close, and still can hurt. I have hurt this friend before too so I am no saint. One big thing about friendship is about forgiveness. We have fogiven each other numerous times. But this person just has some issues that I have been helping him deal with ever since I met him, and at great cost to my heart. He is much better now than when we first met. Something he actually told me was to my credit.

People underestimate the power to True love these days. I know that sounds so hippyish, but how many poeple that you know of these days will love with no stipulations, no conditions, and no judgments? Someone who will love you as close to unconditional as us humans can get? Well, if I bond with someone I love them like this. No, I'm not bragging. There is a reason humans don't want to love like this. IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!! Like a literal hell... as in the place, not the expression. True it has it's benefits, and I could never find it in me to stop loving like this.. but that still doesn't mean I don't find myself in utter heart wrenching pain at times. Give and take. After all, it's what Jesus went through loving us after all. Aren't we supposed to follow his example? That also means, understanding his pain too.

He has come to conclusions and realizations that would drasticly help improve himself if he would actually put them into practice. But you know the old saying, "It's easier said than done" may be true.. .you still have to try. He is prone to self pity and self destructive thoughts so trying to share my feelings with him without getting something judgemental, sarcastic, or pitying is pretty near impossible. So that is why I am writing it here. I can not take the pain any more. I am not God, and my heart can only take so much. I am loyal to my friends till the bitter end, and I will stay near you through thick and thin. But you also need to learn from the past, and use common sence. If the friendship is damaging you mentally and emotionally then it is not healthy to stay in it... correct?? Mind you I can never stop being his friend. I just don't have it in me. If he reads this I very well may get "Oh, well you are better off without me. I will let you go, good bye" self pity response from him. No one can help you if you don't let them, and only as far as you let them. I have helped him some, but he has not helped himself in the most needed ways. He knows what he needs to do. But Pride is what keeps a lot of peope from becoming better. They don't want to admit that they were wrong, and even if they admit it... aren't willing to change it. They say they will, but it doesn't actually go into practice. Know what I mean? This is tough love. I have been pushed into tears because people used this on me, or were just hurtful when they said things that were actually true. Either way I have done all that I can to better myself. My husband is a major contributor to this, and on occations I ask him how I've gotten better, regressed, or not changed. I trust him to give me an HONEST answer. *gasp* Yes, a woman who just doesn't get insulted, but wants honesty! THE WORLD IS ENDING!! (just kidding)

Religion and the origon of ones soul is a very touchy subject for a lot of people. But think of it this way. IF there is an after life, and IF there is such a think as a soul who will live forever.... then where you ended up would be a very big concern right?? Could you imagine someone you loved so deeply, cared about with all your heart, living in a never ending hell. Wether you believe it to be fire and brimstone or your own created hell..... It's still HELL with no end. That's it. No turning back. Finished. Would that not make you worried? Concerned? Scared even? Would making sure that this does not happen with your friend not be worth some "testyness" or even all out anger to be asured of? If you are friends with someone for 5 years, wouldn't they know you well enough to understand your tendancys? He knows what I believe, knows that I am passionate about it, knows that it is as much a part of me as my love for unicorns, and you would think that he would (even if uncomfortable and upset) would understand me asking him such a question. I even tried to explain to him how much I cared, that I wasn't trying to "bible bash" him, and that it was something of the utmost concern and importance to me. Well, he yelled at me (everything in caps) told me I was mad and need to calm down. He then told me I had not understood a word he said about his believes, and slammed the door in my face. (logged off imeadiatly without my responce)

Now, another thing... he does this (log off) slap to me when ever he gets mad. I do not... ever. Even if mad. So this I was used to. What hurt me is the fact he did not even try to understand how I felt like a friend should, he made assumptions that were not true, and slapped me in the face one... more... time. I understood what he had told me, and his beliefs the entire time. I asked him a simple yes or no question that he beat around the bush on. Are you sposed to make "assumptions" when asking a friend something? Some people expect you to, and get upset if you ask fro clearifacation. I always ask for this because I can be dence at times. I want to MAKE SURE that I got what they were saying correct. "Proper Communication" is key in any relationship of any kind. Well, this is what he did with me. He Wanted me to asume, as if to read his mind, and when I didn't he yelled at me then slapped me. Does this remind you of anyone? For those of you that said "Women" then you are very right. A lot of women expect men to read their minds on any number of issues, and this is something I have always hated. I am guilty of it every once in a while, but I try my best not to. If I find myself doing it, I explain myself promptly. Well this is what happened to me.

Needless to say I was in tears that night. If it wasn't for the fact that I came down with a fevor imeadiatly after ward and passed out, I would have been like that all night. The fevor was not his fault, but it didn't make matters better. Supprisingly enough, he got sick right afterward to. Why on that one, I don't know. Yes, he is truly sick... I got confirmation that he just wasn't "avoiding" me. Well, now that I have vented and shared, please no judgemental comments. I will hide them. I am in to sensitve a mind state to really respond to something like that as I know I should I am over emotional, I admit it. I know when to respond, and when not to. You can be emtional and still be mature about it. I've been like this my entire life... it's not been easy, but I have done by best to learn.

Now, I come to a place where I ask myself... how can I make this stop? Some say grow a "thicker skin" when it comes to my emotions. I have tried this many times, and does not work with me. I always wonder why... Some say, "Drop him" but I can't do this either. I am TIRED of always being hurt by him, or letting him hurt me. This is the "Straw that broke the camel's back" as the old saying goes. I have to come to some sort of conclusion. I have to do something, or else this cycle will never end. I am trying to distance myself from him for the moment (aside from both of us being sick) in order to think things through. You normally have to walk on "eggshells" around him and his "sensitive feelings." Does he care about my sensitive feelings? He says yes, but he doesn't show it. It's like he cares initially, but when he talks he doesn't actually consider how what he may say or do will affect someone else. Especially a friend of 5 years that he knows ALSO has sensitive feelings at times. When I talk to him again, I need to know Exactly what to say to him. There can be no hessitation, no wondering. Will I forgive him? Yes. Why? Because God says to forgive. He helps to give us the strength to do so. Will I let this continue? No. It stops here and now. Any advice would be much appriciated. Thank you.

I may not be around much for a while as I deal with all this. If you have advice on the DA situation, that would be appriciated too. This is KiraBree signing off.

Kira Bree aka Prisma Blaze

Ok, I guess it's about time I update my journal. I finally managed to post a short story of sorts. YAY! Very proud of that. It still needs some smoothing out, but I'm very glad I wrote it. Marbletoast inspired me, and now I have inspired someone else. *beams happily* I love helping to spark the creative muse for others. It just gives you this full filing sensation inside.

My husband also brought home a new puppy that was hanging around his work space. She is under a year old Blue Calahula Cur (sp?), and she is soft and as sweet as can be. We are so broke, we don't have enough money for bills, much less another animal. We all ready have two dogs and two cats. *whimpers* She is just so sweet though! She is skin and bones, but that will soon be fixed. Our grey striped tabby really doesn't like her. He hisses and tries to claw at her if she even gets near. I need a good name for her. For the moment, I'm calling her Bonny. Cute, sweet, and southern sounding name. Perfect for her. Any other suggestions?

In spite of all this happiness, it's not why I am writing today. It's because I feel sad and depressed. For the second time this week I've heard about another friend of mine getting hurt by some idiot online. True these friends are online, and not many people get close to nothing but a typed name... but I do. To me friends are a piece of your heart, of your soul. You invest time, emotion, and care into them just like any other person face to face. They are people too. If you know me, or read my other journals you know I don't like to lie about who I am, online or not.

One friend actually wanted a relationship with this girl, and she suddenly stopped talking to him for no reason. Let him down really hard. I know this feeling with someone I knew face to face. My life was a before and after picture after that it was so bad. He didn't need to be miles away to hurt me. But that's the risk you take when caring or loving someone. You risk getting hurt. It's human nature. I helped to cheer him up, and now I have recently joined in one of his role plays. Oh, might I also mention I embaressed myself sooo horribly to him? I was SO red, my face felt like it was on fire. I'm not going to tell you how, only that I'm glad he didn't hold it against me.

The second person was recently hurt by a girl friend that she knew online. If you read my other journals you know that 1. I have never made girl friends because they are back stabbing, petty, b***hes. 2. I have not managed to keep any girl friend until I came online. I now have quite a few which I consider close friends. When I have a friend that gets hurt, I hurt. It's what true friends are for. I have never been a "fair weather" friend. I stay through thick and thin so long as you respect me. Don't curse at me, and don't say "I never want to see or talk to you again" type stuff, and you won't ever be able to get rid of me. It's how I am.

Now you may say, "People get hurt all the time. What makes this any different?" Well, I'll tell you. Because people grow bitter and angry. When they do that, they shut out all possibility of opening up again to some one. Someone who might actually treat them right... like me. I treasure each friend I have like gold. True I am a terrible contact... but aside from that. *rubs shoe in dirt* Especially online. You have to be so careful from all the jerks, perverts, criminals, and molesters out there that you have to be very careful before getting close. So when I hear a close friend of mine has been hurt by another online I feel it very closly. That means they might never open up to me, or anyone else for that matter.

Unfortunatly only time will prove that what I say, and what I say about me is true. Isn't that right? Time proves who your real friends are, and who is a "fair weather" friend." Still, I feel generally helpless during times like this. I may be states, or even countries away. A voice inside my heart and head is screaming, "I WANT TO HELP!! DO SOMETHING!!" even though I know there is not much I Can do. I still do what little I can though. I know I have to be patient, but that's not something I do very well. I do it... just not well. X-) Does anyone else feel helpless like this at times? I get hurt a lot because I open up to fast. My husband says that girls don't open up like that, guys do. That's why I've had mostly guy friends. They also aren't as petty and back stabbing as I've found girls to be. Still, there are always the good ones out there. You just have to look.

Maybe one day I'll get my dream. Me with at least three girl friends all going out to the mall shopping and having a good time. Just to goof off and have fun. Look for clothes, jewelry, maybe even role play books or video games (has to have at least one tom boy). Get some food at the food court. *sigh* It may seem like a silly fantasy, but it's something I've always wanted. Who knows if it wlll ever happen. I'm not in a rush. Well, that is how I'm feeling. I am hurting for people, and praying for them as well. I will always be here for my friends, and if I do hurt them (which is bound to happen in life) I hope they would tell me. I always try to make amends for things I may have done wrong. Wether I knew it or not. You can hurt people without realizing it at the time.

Anyway, thank you for letting me vent. *big hugs to all out there* I do feel a bit better now. Just know that even if I don't know you out there reading this, you can always talk to me if you need someone. Some times it's therapudic to tell a stranger. Of course I want all my friends out there to know that I will do my best to be there for them as well. The thunder and lightning storm outside has really picked up something fierce! Here in the south, the lightning storms are the best things to sleep to. Only I live in a flood district, and all this rain has me worried. You all take care out there, and I will talk to you again soon!

This is a little something I found completly by accident. I found it here. ~Mizu-Taji I added some questions of my own at the end. For all you role players out there, whose character's have their own voices in your head, this is for you!

1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most. (I used 6. couldn't chose)
2. Make them answer the following questions.
3. Then tag three people.
4. Feel free to go ahead and add some questions yourself!!

OCs:
Jenny Cronos (main alter ego, raised in our real world, reluctant savior of my own made up world)
Kira Bree (White leopard girl <not full anthro muzzle>
Ruby Flame (Full anthro ruby fire fox)
Shadow (Full anthro panther with raven wings. 1/2 succubus altered by her mage "father")
Lord Richard (Ruling winged unicorn over my world)
Juniper (anthro cheetah sex slave)

How old are you?
Jenny: I don't believe that is any of your business.
Kira: Um... 18 to 20 I think. I age different, but that should be about right.
Ruby: Come a little closer and I'll tell you. *coos softly*
Shadow: Don't care.
Richard: I would be 125 of your Earth years. We live a long time so I would be the equivalent to a 25 year old Earth male.
Juniper: Age? Last I knew I was 18... but I have no way of knowing for sure right now.

What's your height?
Jenny: 5'7, why?
Kira: I'm 5'4! But I may still grow.
Ruby: Tall enough for you... but actually 5'8 last I checked.
Shadow: Don't care, ask Jenny. (Jenny responds, "6'0")
Richard: In my true form? About 14 hands I think. That's is how you normally measure your equines, correct? Human, 6'2.
Juniper: I don't know. Want to measure me?

Do you have any bad habits?
Jenny: Nightmares. Some tell me I keep people at to much of an emotional distance... This is private right?
Kira: Bad habits? Ummmm.... Well if someone gets aroused near me I can smell their pheromones. It causes.. um.. interesting reactions.
Ruby: Sorry, dear. Don't know you That well yet.
Shadow: Some might say feeding off people, but no bad habits that I know of.
Richard: I'm not the warrior my dad was. I am to soft at times.
Juniper: I daydream... but I try really hard not to.

Are you a virgin?
Jenny: Non of your concern. You will never get close enough to find out.
Kira: What's that?
Ruby: *purrs* What do you think?
Shadow: No but not many of my lovers are still alive. *purrs darkly*
Richard: *blush* Um, no. I'm looking for a wife actually.
Juniper: No, why would I be?

Who's your mate/spouse?
Jenny: Depends on which role play I'm in. Normally, a shadow dragon by the name of Metavo
is my mate, but I've been known to be with an anthro white tiger named Charvale, but we never marry.
Kira: Mate? Don't have one, but I hope to one day. *looks dreamy*
Ruby: Are you propositioning?
Shadow: Haven't found a mate to survive me yet.
Richard: I'm still looking.
Juniper: I'm allowed to have a mate?

Do you have any kids?
Jenny: I have an adopted gold/silver dragoness named Lurlei. She's MORE than enough! Lurlei! GET DOWN FROM THERE THIS INSTANT!
Kira: Nope, but I hope to one day.
Ruby: *laughs* No dear, not yet. Do I look that old?
Shadow: Not currently. Do you really want more of me? The world can't handle one of me, let alone my prodigy.
Richard: I hope to have an heir one day.
Juniper: I'm supposed to have kids?

What's your favorite food?
Jenny: A good well made prime rib, but nothing can replace venison.
Kira: I like rabbit stew! Yum!
Ruby: Red dragon with some fire spice wine.
Shadow: The taste of a man's life force in the throws of pleasure just before orgasm just before I gut him.
Richard: Sweet honey grass.
Juniper: Anything other than the gruel they give me to eat.

What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
Jenny: Could anyone love just one?
Kira: Mint chocolate chip! You have some?
Ruby: Strawberries and cream with cherries on top. *slowly licks lips*
Shadow: Dark chocolate cherry and french vanilla, but I didn't tell you that.
Richard: I prefer chocolate brownie.
Juniper: What's ice cream?

Have you killed anyone?
Jenny: Yes, but only when I had no other choice.
Kira: NO, of course not!
Ruby: No, but I've sent some to the healer's before.
Shadow: What do you think?
Richard: No, not currently and I hope I never have to.
Juniper: No, no, no, never! *looks scared*

Do you hate anyone?
Jenny: Yes, and I'll leave it at that.
Kira: Hate?... I don't think I could hate anyone.
Ruby: Possibly, but I chose not to think about it.
Shadow: Does it count if they're dead?
Richard: None of your concern.
Juniper: *eyes look around nervous* O.. of course not!

Have any secrets?
Jenny: We all have secrets.
Kira: Like what exactly? I'm good at keeping secrets!
Ruby: If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret then, now would it?
Shadow: My life. Are you brave enough to find out?
Richard: No. *looks bland*
Juniper: No! I would never hid Anything! *looks around terrified now*

Do you love anyone?
Jenny: It has been known to happen.
Kira: Love? Not in a relationship kinda' way, but I hope to one day. I love all my friends!
Ruby: *shrug* My family I suppose.
Shadow: Possibly....
Richard: I love my world, but I have high hopes for a future mate.
Juniper: What's love?

Boy or girl?
Jenny: Are you that dense?
Kira: I'm a girl, silly.
Ruby: All woman...
Shadow: Female.
Richard: I'm a male.
Juniper: A girl last I checked.

(These are the questions a friend of mine and I added..)

What is the hardest thing you've ever had to do?
Jenny: Escape from the labs that held me captive.
Kira: Leave the only home I knew in the mountains with my dwarven family, and go out on my own to make my way in the world.
Ruby: Let a nice guy "go" because he would be better off with another girl than with me.
Shadow: Escape my captors, and then learn to live on my own.
Richard: Let the woman I loved go because she couldn't love me back.
Juniper: Go down on a man that smelled and looked foul.

Have you ever lost control? Emotional, psychological, physical, etc..
Jenny: Yes. I mentally melted the technological equipment that was monitoring me. My rage was so intense that I made the room radio active.
Kira: Um... once. *blush* I'm not going to talk about it.
Ruby: Yes. Can you say crispy critter?
Shadow: Mmmm, blood bath. Best time of my life.
Richard: No, not in that manor.
Juniper: No, I'm trained better than that.

What is your favorite color?
Jenny: Blue, it's calming.
Kira: Pink! It's the greatest!
Ruby: Why, Ruby red of course.
Shadow: Black, naturally
Richard: Prism, all the colors of my world
Juniper: Favorite color? Uh... sky blue I guess.

What is your favorite activity or hobby?
Jenny: Reading
Kira: Talking with friends, and running through the forest naked!
Ruby: Licking chocolate off of some one, or having them lick it off me.
Shadow: Do you really want to know?
Richard: Flying through the skys of my world.
Juniper: Pleasing my Mistress or Master in what ever way they desire.

What do you normally wear?
Jenny: Tee-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes
Kira: Nothing if I can help it, but in town I wear a loose shirt and traveling pants. Soft fabric if I have it.
Ruby: Tight halter top, and skin tight short shorts preferably cut offs so they unravel.
Shadow: Either nothing, or comfortably snug forest green top and shorts. I must have room to move silently. No loud fabrics.
Richard: My normal form doesn't require clothes. My human form I wear my comfortable princes attire. Shirt, pants, cloak, boots.
Juniper: Barely covering tattered sleeve less top, and barely covering wrap around skirt.

Do you have any family? If so, what are their names?
Jenny: Lurlei is my only family aside from Metavo, Charvale, or other friends.
Kira: I have my adopted family of dwarves. They all helped to raise me.
Ruby: My mother Silver Flame, and my sister Loretta.
Shadow: No family. Jenny is the closest thing I even have to a friend. Who needs 'em?
Richard: None. My father and mother are dead, and I have no siblings.
Juniper: None that I know of.

Do you have any pets?
Jenny: No, I can't have a pet. I travel to much.
Kira: Not yet, but I'd like one.
Ruby: No, pets are annoying.
Shadow: By pet do you mean soon to be dinner?
Richard: I don't have time for pets. I have to rule an entire realm.
Juniper: I was never allowed to have a pet.

Who is your role model?
Jenny: No one specific.
Kira: My nanna was my role model growing up.
Ruby: My mom, I guess.
Shadow: Don't have one, and don't care to.
Richard: My father. His shoes are some big ones to fill.
Juniper: My trainers, naturally.

What is the scariest thing you ever had to do?
Jenny: Confront my fear of white lab coats.
Kira: Drive my little home made space ship by myself, and then try to land it safely when it started to crash.
Ruby: Meet my dad for the first time in my life.
Shadow: Scared? I'm never scared.
Richard: Confront the fact that both my parents were dead, and I was alone to rule.
Juniper: Teach some of the younger slaves the "art." They are so innocent at first.....

What creature are you?
Jenny: Human, but I found out I'm also a winged unicorn. That still feels so surreal to me.
Kira: Snow leopard shifter.
Ruby: Anthro fire fox, of course.
Shadow: Half shadow panther, half succubus.
Richard: Rare Winged Unicorn who can turn human.
Juniper: I'm a cheetah person.

Do you wield weapons? If so, what is your favorite?
Jenny: My mind. I'm a psyonic.
Kira: My claws. It comes naturally.
Ruby: Fire balls. Hahaha! Run little people, Fear me!
Shadow: Whip... smooth, elegant, but deadly.
Richard: My long sword, or my horn.
Juniper: I can't fight...

Do you know any other languages?
Jenny: Yes, to many to count.
Kira: Um, I know common, dwarven, halfling, and Gnome.
Ruby: Just common. Everyone knows common.
Shadow: I know plenty, but I'm not telling you.
Richard: I know at least 25 languages native to my world. It's tedious.
Juniper: Um, just one. Common.

Describe the world you are from.
Jenny: Technological, closed minded, powerful corrupted politicians, and ignorant normal people.
Kira: It's colorful filled with mountains, caves, hills, and forests. Nothing is like home.
Ruby: Chaotic. You never know what will happen or what you will see. Always have to be on your toes.
Shadow: .....
Richard: Filled with color and wonder. Dark or light it is completely varied. It's made up of the dreams from other worlds.
Juniper: Limited. I don't know much about it.

Describe yourself in five words or less.
Jenny: Burdened, cautious, caring, intelligent, and lost
Kira: Fun loving, playful, and creative!
Ruby: Sexy of course. Intelligent woman.
Shadow: Hunter, predator, dark, vicious, seductress
Richard: Honorable, loyal, dedicated, and fair.
Juniper: Skilled and always willing.

Describe your Arthur in your own words.
Jenny: Varied. She is always expanding herself, and me in the process.
Kira: Fun! I'm hoping to be made into a My Little Pony soon for her new role play! *crosses fingers hoping*
Ruby: Don't have any author. I control my own destiny.
Shadow: Repressed. *evil grin* I am her dark outlet, and I like having her feel me inside her. *purrs deeply*
Richard: A lot like me, only in a different world and female.
Juniper: Author? *looks confused*

What is your occupation if you have one?
Jenny: I make sure the world I'm in stays balanced, and I write books.
Kira: Occupation... um... er... Adventurer!
Ruby: Exotic Dancer
Shadow: Boogie woman to make kids eat their vegetables, and make grown men wet their pants.
Richard: I am a ruler. It is my life.
Juniper: I'm a sex slave.

Anyone who reads this can make one of their own. It's lots of fun, and I highly recomend it! Enjoy!

Hello to everyone out there! I have some more adventures of "Kira's exploits with technology". <duhduhduhnnnn> AIM is on the menu this time. Woohoo! I was actually very proud of myself. I managed to explore my AIM messenger more thoroughly. I found out I can not go invisible, and that I had 9.0. I needed 9.1. So I managed to down load 9.1. YAY ME! I also finally managed to get a AIM avie. They didn't have a horse, or unicorn. Since one of my main personas is that of a cat, I got a kitten. It doesn't matter that it's not white. It's light gray, (close enough I guess) with a white tummy. It also has butterfly wings (In aim you can only chose from the ones they have)

My kittensana I play is a white fluff ball with bright blue eyes. Though since she is "naughty" in all manor of speaking, I some times give her white angel wings. *laughs* No halo. She's not that good. Wings just makes her look more innocent since she is a cute little kitten, and Angel Kitten is one of my husbands favorite nicknames for me. (I'm about as innocent as Her, so it fits lol) So having butterfly wings wasn't to far fetched.

I managed to also get a black cat wall paper too. Shadow being my VERY bad and naughty kittysana/ persona. She is an actual character I play too. She is half succubus. (female sex demon) So, black kitties fit too. I changed my smilies to blue kitty faces. (are we seeing a theme here people?) Well, it doesn't help that my AIM is unicorn based in stead of kitty based, but it's all me. So who cares right? But I came upon some trouble when trying to alter my sound. It has a place where you can change the sound when a buddy im's you to something other than a ringing. I wanted a kitty meow, but it wouldn't load all the way. I waited and waited. I tried to reload it numerous times. No less than 5 x's. Then if figured, "to much stuff is running on the comp." so I went closing out ALL my numerous windows. I had nothing but basic computer stuff, and aol running. AOL so I could load the sound, I had to be online. Well, I sat back and played my pokemon game while I waited. (Please, no bashing PKmon. I love it in spite of how cheesy it can be. The game itself is addicting to those who like to collect odd and unusual things... LIKE ME!)

Well, to say the least it NEVER loaded. I updated AIM, I made sure to load Java in case I had forgotten to at some point in owning the computer. I ran disc defragmenter (to help with computer speed and processing. it helps and some one should do it at least once a year or so) I made sure to do a virus and ad ware scan removing anything found. And STILL it didn't load past the half way point. *cries :''''(( * My husband said it was an aol glitch, or that we needed a stronger ad ware spy ware detector. He said that our comp. may be running to many things. (the type of things you don't see unless you know where to look) He also said that the Internet is being designed more and more of high speed, dsl, or cable connections. Us dial up users are being left in the dust, so we may have to get DSL. It doesn't matter how badly I've wanted it in the first place, just we live so far out in the country no wires will run all the way to my house. *cries again*

To sum it up, it never worked. So much for my accomplishments with technology. *anime face plant* In other news, I do live in the forest, and out in the country. Because of this, there is a constant mouse problem. No big city rats. Just cute little gray field mice. I have traps set up all over the house, but the little suckers aren't taking the bait. (peanut butter, I heard they like it) On the other hand, my parents always seem to catch theirs. (they use cheese) Well, I am tired of them gnawing on my furniture, and it doesn't matter how much I love animals, or how cute you are.. IF YOU KEEP ME AWAKE THEN YOU DIIIIEEEE!!!! *ahem* I am very cranky if I get woken up, or kept awake. So NOT a morning person.

Well, some how I get the smart mice who don't eat the bait and die. Nooo, they just run past the traps, and one of them caught a mouse by the tail. Knowing stupid me, I pick up the other end of the trap expecting to see a dead mouse. No, there is a squeaking struggling mouse on the other end being held up side down by his tail. I try to put him in he trash can (I didn't want to kill it myself. Not that brave) and it managed to bite me on the finger. I startle so bad I screamed dropping the trap. The jar must have let him get his tail loose, and the sucker ran off. D**N! I medicated it like crazy and called poison control. Mice don't carry rabies I found out. I put anti biotic ointment on it, and a band aid. *sigh* Three cheers for Kira's brilliance. *eyes roll* No it wasn't a bad bite, but it did draw blood.

Needless to say I need a new strategy, because my latest one's not working. I don't want to use poison. Then they end up dieing in the walls, and the attic. I have two cats and two dogs, and I don't want to risk them dieing. *sigh* I am on the war path now. Any suggestions would be helpful, or any fancy devices that have been known to work for you, please let me know.

Ok, in other news... I found out how to create links. I added my friend's link to his picture in my gallery. Charvale is his main character, and that is the name of his site. Only two pictures in it, and they .. um... can be graphic. One picture of a fully nude cat woman. At least, I think she's nude. Anyway, not much to see, but he's a great artist and my friend. He has gotten out of the habit of drawing, so his skill has decreased. He's also not much with tech like me, so he hasn't put up much yet. Maybe one day, who knows. I just wanted to give him credit for the picture I had up.

DA QUESTION!! This is for all of those out there who know more about DA than I do. (which is not hard to do by the way) I have characters I play in rp. I have found pictures on DA that look EXACTLY like them. I would of course ask the person's permission, and if granted would post the picture as an "example" picture with a link to the artist's web site. Is this allowed here, or not? Some say yes, others say no. Some say that it's not allowed if it isn't made for you, or by you no matter if you have permission or not. I don't know, and I don't want to get in trouble. This is a question I've been asking everyone. Does any one know for sure??? Please help!

OK. I read a survey of questions done by Silsha or Moony or Silver Shadow. All the same person. This is her link in case you want to check it out yourself. ~Naiefae *cheers for successful linkage!*

These are my answers: (don't know how to do bold, or else I would)

Three things that you want to do before dying
1. Visit Ireland, Germany, and revisit Australia to hold a Kuala that I didn't get to the first time.
2. Finish my book even if it doesn't get published
3. Have a farm with a log cabin with lots of horses.

Three things to call you (I put normal people. Not husband nicknames)
1. Kitten
2. Kira Bree
3. Prisma Blaze

Three nicks that have been used
1. KitKat
2. winged unicorn
3. Jenny (main alter ego, persona, and character)

Three things that you like of you physically
1. My strength. Not the strongest, but I have a very strongly built body and muscle structure
2. My eyes. Not the color I want, but still nice. Blue, green, hazel. They shift some times.
3. Lips not to big, or to small. Well rounded.

Three places of your origin
1. Americas. American Indian on both sides of family
2. England (assuming)
3. Spain (guessing)

Three things that frighten you
1. Being raped
2. The decline of America's moral values
3. What kind of future will America give my children. So far, not looking like much of one.

Three essential things that you do each day
1. Go online
2. Sleep
3. Breath

Three things that you are carrying right now
1. Keyboard
2. Notebook with rp notes
3. Headband to keep hair back

Three of your favorite singers/groups
1. Big Daddy Weave
2. Jump 5
3. Carman

Three of your favorite songs
(I’ve got so many of them, so I’ll just pick out the ones that first some to mind.)
1. Gazing by Future of Forestry (yes, actual name of band)
2. Little Girl by John Michel Montgomery
3. Jesus Freak by DC Talk

Three things that you want in a relationship (and have in my case)
1. Trust (BIG ONE!)
2. Patience (especially when dealing with me)
3. Empathy (I don't want him to just understand in his head, but in his heart how I feel. This is asking a lot from normal guys)

Two truths and a lie
1. I love animals
2. I am addicted to rp and DA
3..I love running

Three physical aspects that you like in the other sex
1. Eyes. ALWAYS eyes. Warm and kind, or striking. They are the windows to the soul, and I love looking into another's eyes.
2. Hair. light and fluffy, curly? I love curly and very soft. Hair style also speaks alot about a person
3. Lips (to big and they slobber, to small and makes face look thin)

Three of your favourite hobbies
1. Collecting. My little ponies, horses, unicorns, locks with keys, bouncy balls. I collect A LOT!
2. Writing stories or poems
3. Hiking/camping. I love the out doors exept for the misquitos

Three things that you want to desperately do right now if you had the energy
1. Clean/organize house
2. Exersice to lose some weight
3. Do laundry

Three careers that you specially want
1. Zooligist/ Wild Park Ranger... anything with helping out the wild animals. Especially large cats
2. Writer stories or poems
3. Nanny (I love kids)

Three places to the ones that want to go on vacation (previously mentioned in my case)
1. Ireland
2. Switerland/Finland/Norway
3. Austrailia

Three names for your children ( I put boy and girl)
1. G-Silven (Celtic boys name, but I thought sounded pretty for a girl) B-Keynan
2.G-Lurlei (pronounced Lur-lie means cold in another language, forgot which one) B-Aiden (would use name, but it's over used here so probably won't be this name)
3. G-Kiara/ Medly (couldn't pic) B-Jaden (also over used)

Three things that you do that are boyish (i'm a tomboy, so what Don't I do?)
1. Like to pet snakes, lizards, frogs, ect. (catch frogs and lizards around my house. no touchie the snakes!!)
2. Climb trees (love it)
3. Wrestle (not to bad at it either)

Three things that you do that are girlish
1. Collect my little ponies, unicorns, etc..
2. Color corordinate my clothes, jewelry, socks, hair clips, etc...
3. Watch/read love stories

Ok, well that's it for me! You all take care, and I hope to keep you posted!

*angels sing* HALELUJA!! LOL Kira has finally managed to post stuff on DA. It's a miracle!! For this technilogicly impaired individual, puting pictures up on DA is a HUGE feat! I am so happy with myself I just can't say.

For those of you actually reading this, the pictures of me are one year old. I'm dressed up with my hair done cirly and make up on. My hair is normally flat as a board, though I have always loved curly hair all my life. So every time I do myself up I curl my hair. *big goofy grin*

I am making friends by leaps and bounds. I have at least 3 girl friends that show possibilites of being real close. If you've read my previous journals then you would know my record with girls is nil. I have all guy friends. I'm also the type of person who has plenty of casual friends, but has a couple close really deep friends that stay near my heart. Ever since I was a little girl I always envied the other girls and their friendships with that "one special friend." Every time I tried to make one it went bad. Some times slap you in the face and grind your heart into the dirt kind of bad.

But my luck seems to have changed finally! *jumps around happily* Not only do I find for the first time girls I can be close with, but also girls that are almost identical TO ME! I have never found a girl this much like me before. It was shocking, but in a good way. :-D I am loving my new my little pony role play. I am also getting used to navigating through DA better now. I"m experimenting finally with where everything goes or does. (I was lazy earlier and never really did anything but briefly look through art) Now, I realize how easy it is to make friends here, and all the cool stuff you can do. I'm totally thrilled, and now a compete DA addict!

HORRAY for addiction! LOL One of these days I'll go back and fav all those lovely people whose art I love to save so much. In any case, I think I've probably all ready given everyone the low down about me in my first two entries. I like to talk alot, but I told some people I'd start talking more about what happens to me instead of about me. So..........

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!! I did nothing special except for the picture thing. I've had a cool laid back kind of day. My husband got a good laugh off the tv before work, and I actually had a cool conversation wth my mom. (It happens once in a while) Hope fully one day I can get a scanner and actually put up art that I drew. Hopefully. Well, besides browsing DA, Highland Mists, and chatting with anyone still up at this late hour nothing really to speak of.

Oh, one mroe thing. I live in Louisiana. And that means it's hot almost ALL year long. We get 2 seasons. Summer (scalding boiling egg hot) and cooler. We currently finally got a cool front coming through and actually has gotten us down to the 20's. This is almost unheard of where I'm at. I'M LOVING IT!! I love cold weather and snow, which we get none of here. Well, at least it's cool now. I will sleep good tonight. Only thing better to sleep to would be a thunder storm. Ahhhh, nothing is like a Louisiana thunder and lightning storm. Well, anyway, that's all for this New Years. Just another day.

Christmas was laid back too. I got some neat things. A Star Catcher mlp, a new female study bible, lip gloss, a MLP purse with my name on it, some music, a journal, a book, the movie National Velvet, and The Littest Pet Shop monopoly game. We had a simple meal, and just hung out. It was nice. Well, that's it for me. Until next time.

Happily writing,
Kira Bree aka Kitten
Prisma Blaze